Wow, I haven't been to this site for years. Well, almost. I came randomly today to experiment with some things on blogspot to see if I wanted to use it for a new site, and lo and behold, I discovered comments I hadn't seen before. If you happen to stumble your way back here, thank you anothersecondmommy and margaret for your sweet encouragement. I do feel encouraged now, but also highly intimidated that Sam is going to turn into a major disappointment. Hopefully the faithful Em will keep that from happening.

Catching Up

The sooner you fall behind the more time you have to catch up. Right now that means I have more time to catch up than any of you! I think.....hmmm.......

Brief Update on the Lost Romany

So, here's the deal about Sam. Sometime in the beginning of April I finally managed to emotionally distance myself from this story, and writing it has been semi-fun ever since. Most of what I'm writing still sounds as though it was written by a little kid other than a scene here and there, which is why I'm not posting it. The plan regarding posting is for me to finish a short rough draft by the end of June, then I'm going to give it a rest and let my ideas have time to crystalize during the rest of the summer (while I focus on a different writing project), then I'm planning on really writing Sam in the fall and posting, preferrably weekly. I know that fall is a long time away, but it seems the most realistic at the moment.

No Plot, No Problem was overdue and I'd already renewed it once, but I renewed it again. Hopefully no one else is waiting in line for it. One of the suggestions in it was to list your favorite aspects of a novel in one list and your least favorite in another. Since I like listing things. . .

What I Love in a Book

A "Once upon a time" magical feel. The feeling that you are about to hear a story.
Characters you love. Really love. Like, you want to squeeze them because they're so cool!!

Romance, told artfully and beautifully

Structured plots

Ridiculously shocking, possibly embarrassing, confrontational, eyeball-widening, eyebrow-lifting, scenes

Surprising twists

Lush and exotic settings

Mystery and intrigue

Beauty

Rich use of all the senses

Beautiful endings. I'm partial to happy ones, but I like bittersweet ones too so long as they're poignant and meaningful and beautiful and leave me feeling contemplative instead of depressed. I can never forgive a book for having a flat and depressing and unfinished ending

What I Don't Love So Much in a Book

An excess of wordiness so that you can't picture what's going on and your imagination is bogged down.

Cardboard characters

Really disgusting, unredeemable villains. At some point in the story, either in the beginning or in the end, I like the villain to have good points to his character, otherwise they seem kind of fake to me. So long as it's a human, that is. If it's some dark force representing of Satan, it doesn't seem cardboard.

An excess of action, particularly action you can't envision (yes, I know it's more grammatically correct to say "one" instead of "you", but "you" sounds better

Cheesy, sappy, over-done romance. Blec.

Monsters, ghosts, aliens, weird fantasy creatures. Most of the time.

Strange, unnatural fantasy problems. I find those disturbing. I still vividly remember my dad watching Star Trek when I was about eight or nine, and someone got a strange disease that turned their eyes yellow and their skin crackled strangely and grossly. I left to my room and sat on the edge of my bed with clammy hands and weak, trembling limbs and a queasy stomach. Unfortunately, I'm not much different today when it comes to those things.

First person when the character has an attitude

Preachiness

As afore mentioned, depressing and incomplete endings

Wars and Rumors of Wars

I need a war or a rebellion.

Therefore, I brainstormed with my handy dandy brainstorming partner, Kate McKay, as I fondly call my sister. Unfortunately, I have never once made a breakthrough from this method of brainstorming. I wonder why that is. . .

The abridged version of our brainstorming discussion is as follows.

Brittany: "Katie, I need a reason for a war."

Katie: "Have people kidnap this girl because they want to start a war."

Brittany: "For the last time, I am not going to write The Princess Bride."

Katie: "Have these people be fighting over a river."

Brittany: "A river? And why can't they just share the river? Is it going to run out?"

Katie: "Someone is contaminating the river. They're dumping toxic waste into it."

Brittany: "I'm not writing Sahara, either. They didn't have toxic waste back then."

Katie: "Maybe their bathing in it and urinating in it."

Brittany: "That's nice, Katie."

Katie: "Ummmm. . ." stops thinking and resumes reading her literature book aloud " 'Then there was Aunt Sarah Shoaf, who never went to bed at night without the fear that a burglar was going to get in and blow chloroform under her door through a tube. To avert this calamity---' "

Brittany: "Well, they could always poison the river I suppose. . . but wait, why? That doesn't solve the problem of how the war. Hmmmm. . . I know, they're fighting for that kachina doll god."

(earlier in the conversation we had discussed having these people fight over an object. We came up with the idea they were fighting over a kachina doll that one country's founder had carved out of something, then it was lost, then the other country found it, and they've been fighting over it ever since)

Katie: "The great kachina doll god! Wow, that's a book I want to read. . ."

Brittany and Katie dissolve into laughter.

Brittany: (gasping for air) "Okay, what is the war going to be about? . . ."

Katie: (continues reading aloud) " '---for she was in greater dread of anesthetics than of losing her household goods--- she always piled her money, silverware, and other valuables in a neat stack just outside her bedroom, with a note reading: "This is all I have. Please take it and do not use your chloroform"---'." (Katie stops reading.) "I still think you should have it be over a broken treaty."

Brittany: "What's the treaty?"

Okay, that's enough of this goofy conversation. I'm in weird mood now, have you noticed? Anyway, these options were ruled out:

• a broken treaty (can't think of a treaty)
• a war against a religeon (because. . . I'm not sure why, but because)
• a war over stolen goods (the stolen goods are. . .?)
• a war over a kidnapped heir or heiress (nahhhh)
• a war over a possesion said to belong to both sides (can't think of anything. Don't want it to be land or the great kachina statue or the polluted river.)
• a war against barbaric invaders (doesn't work)
• a war against a cruel dictator (can't think of anything I like. He can't be cruel because he's stupid like Taerith's king, he can't be cruel because he overtaxes people like Daelia's country's rulers, he can't be cruel because he's cruel to slaves like in Zoe. I don't have any ideas)

Well this is one of the more random entries I've ever written. I'm hungry. I think I'm going to go eat something. . .

I finally went to the library and checked out No Plot, No Problem, as Starr suggested. When I got home I read the introduction, then already felt inspired to work on Sam. I wasn't sure you guys were completely right, but. . . alas! You're right. My problem is that I'm too concerned with people's opinions. I can't just let myself go and write because it will come out rubbish and you guys are actually going to read that rubbish. Frightening thought!

Well, I decided to ignore that and just write. Or try to, anyway. After all, if it's so rubbishy I can't bear to have you read it I don't, strictly speaking, have to post. Sure Emily won't post and Charissa won't post and even sweet Rachel Ro. has threatened not to post and pretty soon the Romany Epistles will be postponed for a year, but aside from that triffling matter I don't have to post. If I absolutely must, I can spend a week editing it before I post it. Only, somehow that doesn't work. When I sit down to edit it, I realize I have no direction, no theme, and I'm wasting my time and pretty soon I'll be a little old lady wondering where the years have gone and why I wasted them all writing about some person who never existed in a world that isn't real.

So I guess I have to force myself to write the rubbish all at once and keep going and not look back and swallow my confounded pride. But what if it gets lodged in my throat and I choke and DIE!?

*Gulp*

Procrastination

Attempt #1 After eating breakfast and cleaning my room, I sit down at the computer to work on Sam like a good little girl. However, it comes to mind that I'm expecting an e-mail from someone who is answering a question for me and I need to know the answer to that question, so I should check that first. Since I'm already checking my e-mail, I might as well read all of my e-mails. And hey, it wouldn't hurt to comment on a few peoples' xangas. Then, if one of your friends just happens to be online at the same time as you, it is quite natural that you'd want to IM with them.

Attempt #2 Having completely ignored Sam the first time around, after lunch I decided to sit down and work on him some more. But by slinking bit, six sentences appeared on the screen. Then I found myself distracted trying to find the right word for something. An old woman is yelling at Sam, only yelling isn't the correct word for what she's doing. It's more like bossing, or pestering, and raging at him, only it's none of those. After vetoing all the options your thesaraus provides, you realize that lambasted is a cool word. Say it ---lambasted. Isn't that a fascinating word? Yes, but it's not what the old woman is doing to Sam. Groused is also a cool word, but all the computer thesaraus says is that it's a bird with feathers on it's legs. Can't find other words like that. Then, for whatever reason I realized it was fun looking up words, and that words like wallopped sound really cool. When I'll use it I don't know, but it's fun to say. It makes me want to wallop someone on the backside. Then I start laughing with my sister and decide that half an hour is way too long to be looking up words in a thesaraus.

Attempt #3 It's about four in the afternoon when I went into my room with the intention of working on Sam for the third time. Then I found that my sister was on the computer, and that as it so happened Charissa had posted more Aiden. So naturally when Katie got off the computer I had to read Aiden. I mean, I can't just ignore Aiden. So I read Aiden, then Katie came back enquiring why I was reading Aiden when I had specifically said I wanted to work on Sam, and since I had read Aiden she had to read Aiden, and I decided I didn't feel like being on the computer anymore anyway.

Attempt #4 After having very generously decided that my sweet little sister's needs should come before my own and that she deserved to read Aiden before I worked on Sam, I went to the backyard with a notebook in hand to sit on the swing and write. After all, writing by hand makes things flow so much easier. So, I picked up where I left off with the grousing woman and start writing. My writing flowed beautifully, like cans flow behind the car of a newly married couple, banging and clashing merrily ---and gracefully--- along. I then decide that typing is the only way to go.

Attempt #5 It's now about six, and I'm thinking I really should work on Sam, so I sit down at the computer. First I read aloud to Katie what I have already written, in a very dramatic tone. She reads it even more dramatically, it sounds absolutely ridiculous. When I finally start to type, the font I have it set at keeps reverting back to this other font, and no matter how many times I fix it it keeps changing. Then I decide I feel more like writing about the trials of writing than writing Sam, and if it were not for that decision you would not be reading the beautiful entry you are now, in which I have the feeling I changed tenses about a dozen times and only corrected a few of them. It wants to be written in one way but I started out in another and I keep going back and forth and isn't this fun?

Now that you have been sufficiently entertained---- hey, wake up!!! Huh, I never knew you snored. . .