I finally went to the library and checked out No Plot, No Problem, as Starr suggested. When I got home I read the introduction, then already felt inspired to work on Sam. I wasn't sure you guys were completely right, but. . . alas! You're right. My problem is that I'm too concerned with people's opinions. I can't just let myself go and write because it will come out rubbish and you guys are actually going to read that rubbish. Frightening thought!

Well, I decided to ignore that and just write. Or try to, anyway. After all, if it's so rubbishy I can't bear to have you read it I don't, strictly speaking, have to post. Sure Emily won't post and Charissa won't post and even sweet Rachel Ro. has threatened not to post and pretty soon the Romany Epistles will be postponed for a year, but aside from that triffling matter I don't have to post. If I absolutely must, I can spend a week editing it before I post it. Only, somehow that doesn't work. When I sit down to edit it, I realize I have no direction, no theme, and I'm wasting my time and pretty soon I'll be a little old lady wondering where the years have gone and why I wasted them all writing about some person who never existed in a world that isn't real.

So I guess I have to force myself to write the rubbish all at once and keep going and not look back and swallow my confounded pride. But what if it gets lodged in my throat and I choke and DIE!?

*Gulp*